Long-time dating couples, why haven’t you tied the knot yet?

Question

Sharifah · Accepted Answer

"Dated for years and years, and our philosophy was always that we were together, we didn't need a piece of paper and some legal obligations to prove we loved each other. Why does the government need to approve our union? We were happy with what we were, and thankfully didn't have any pressure from family. Then I got a job offer over-seas. Awesome job, huge salary, full relocation package, and they said I could bring my partner with me! I signed up, and two weeks before the big move, they said, "Wait, you're married, right? We can't get your partner a visa unless you're married!" We were kinda pissed, but we decided the opportunity could not be passed up. We got the piece of paper (got married), moved, and we're still happy. Nothing's changed except some tax details. We dated for a very long time, and now we've been married for 8 years, and really nothing's changed between us. I think it's all in the attitude, and your relationship with each other. "

Pia-Sofia · Answer

"My brother has been dating the same woman for 9 years now. He says he'll marry her but he doesn't want a wedding or to propose. He bought an amazing house and put her name on the deed. He bought her a car and paid off her student loans and supported her in college. on top of all that he truly loves her and would spend the rest of his life with her. He just doesn't want "a party". He yells perfectly reasonably parts of a wedding at her like it's insane and then asks if that's what she wants' "You want my friends to stand up and give speaches about us, will that make you happy Katie?" "Then what, we are going to hold hands while we cut a cake in front of a crowd?!?!?! That's so stupid" It's now my fav thing to do. just yell events of a wedding at people and ask if they're crazy.  Honestly he just is a little socially anxious and doesn't lilke attention and doesn't want a whole day dedicated to that, let alone a year planning such an event.  "

HERLINDA · Answer

Going on eight years, have a kid, house and cars together, but keep spending our savings on better things like trips and abovementioned. Will get married at some point for the tax benefits, but the love and commitment level of our relationship is in its final form already so no rush.

Elvina · Answer

We hate tradition. We don't want a wedding. We're too damn broke to get our own place instead of living with our respective parents.

Marie-Helene · Answer

MONEY. That shit is expensive. We're working toward being a bit more financially stable before we throw it all away on some big party and dress I'll never wear again.

Yves · Answer

Not enough money

THERESSA · Answer

Why buy the cow when you can get the MILF for free?

Debor · Answer

Political/philosophical opposition to the institution of marriage by both of us.

Katja Weis · Answer

He's not ready..

Malory · Answer

Can't speak for my self, but my 2 younger sisters have been dating their boyfriends for a long time.. one relationship has been 8 years, the other 7 years. Main reason they haven't proposed I believe is because my sisters, and one of the boyfriends have a year left of university, while the other boyfriend just graduated. Guarantee next year will be the year for both of them.

Dusty · Answer

Too young. Then we were both at university. Halfway through that I got pregnant. Then it wasn't the right time. We're finally getting married this December!

Varinia · Answer

No desire to get married. I don't see the point.

Sara Scherer · Answer

Still haven't made it.

Santra · Answer

Inherent risk of a contract.

Emilia · Answer

Going to wait to see how/where our career's shake out after graduation

Lin · Answer

Cause we are only 22 and still in school

Aimee · Answer

We've got a system that works, and we're happy. Why fuck with it? Besides, his books are all mixed up with mine now, and that's way more of a display of commitment than a marriage certificate could ever be.

Cybill · Answer

We're having twins, and she wants to wait until they are born and old enough to behave during an actual nice wedding.

Adalia · Answer

Been together for 9 years now and he keeps on putting it off because he doesn't know what I want when it comes to a ring/wedding. I told him I didn't want something fancy.. just a little ring... I even pointed out some $50 ring and said it would be fine but he said I was worth more than that. Pfft... buy the cheap ass ring and lets put the rest towards a down payment on a home!  I want to do the traditional thing, though... buy the ring, marry the guy at a small ceremony. I know our love means more than that, however I have had a rough life and he agrees that I at least deserve a wedding as a celebration of being able to move on from past events into the arms of someone who loves me, just as long as he gets a Hello Kitty grooms cake out of the deal.

Alvinia · Answer

As someone who dated their wife for about 13 years. Before marrying them, I can say the delay is largely due to just growing as a person. 13 years is a long time, everyone changes, making sure you are still compatible with that person is very important.

Antonella · Answer

Cause she is a bitch, but i dont have the heart to break up with her

Birgit Krause · Answer

"Because our relationship is good, but not "Get the Government Involved" good. Also, not religious and no plans for kids. Without either of those things driving the decision, there is no good reason for doing it.  "

Marie Gruenewald · Answer

Because my boyfriend wouldn't be comfortable with me asking, but he won't ask.

Bealle · Answer

Why would I want the govt involved in my love life?

HUI · Answer

We're going to, but it is a lot of expense and coordination. We live across the country from all of our family and most of our friends, so it's going to be most inconvenient for the two of us when the time comes! But no one is going to plan it for us and so, it goes unplanned. I don't feel like we're missing out on much, though. We have each other, and that's what it's all about. We'll get around to it... eventually!

Marise · Answer

It's fucking expensive We both don't enjoy being the center of attention We are domestic partners so we already share our health coverage, and other than that I don't see any benefit of being married over not being married.

Catrin · Answer

We've been together 14+ years. We own property together, we've built a life together, and overall we're happy in our relationship. We don't ascribe to traditional expectations. We don't want kids and we don't care to get married. We have legal paperwork in place to make sure we're taken care of in case of an emergency.  I don't believe a piece of paper or a ring is going to deepen our commitment.  We went to his sisters wedding earlier this year and the pageantry of the entire event left me very resolute and happy in our decision.

Gaylene · Answer

"Because he has this weird arbitrary idea in his head that "you shouldn't get married before 30." I asked why 30 in particular and his astute and well-thought-out answer was "just because."  "

Jessalin · Answer

It's not the right time yet. Yes we love each other and have discussed getting married eventually. But we are in our 20's and there really isn't any rush. We figure that we can still get married later on when we are both more financially secure and older and ready. It's a huge commitment. So yes, as of right now, we do want to get married in the future. However, we are smart enough to realize that making a decision to spend the rest of your life with someone you have only know for a year or two is not really the wisest thing to do.

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